BREAKING: The Next UK Prime Minister will either be a racist serial liar or an NHS-destroying expenses cheat
Tory MPs have voted in favour of racist serial liar, Boris Johnson, and NHS-destroying expenses cheat, Jeremy Hunt, as the final two in the battle to be the next Prime Minister and leader of the Conservative Party.
As per the past three rounds of voting, Boris Johnson came top, gaining the votes of 160 Tory MPs, whilst Jeremy Hunt pipped Michael Gove into second place by 77 votes to 75.
The results mean that, after a vote of Tory members in July, either Boris Johnson or Jeremy Hunt will become the next Tory leader and Prime Minister of the UK.
Both remaining candidates will now begin a gruelling month-long tour of the country, taking in 15 hustings to put their case to Tory members before the crucial vote.
Johnson and Hunt are also now scheduled to take part in three further live television debates, on the BBC, Sky and ITV, with the winner finally being announced in the week commencing July 22nd.
However, given both Johnson and Hunt’s extremely dubious political reputations, there is understandably a lot of anger around the country that either will now become Prime Minister.
Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson (yes that really is his full name) has come in for significant criticism over his entire political career, most notably over numerous huge lies and for repeatedly expressing overtly racist tropes.
Meanwhile, Jeremy Hunt will be well known to doctors and nurses, having been accused of butchering the National Health Service by introducing extremely controversial measures described as privatisation by stealth.
Ominously, both Johnson and Hunt have also been caught up in expenses scandals:
Johnson has repeatedly broke expenses rules, having been found to have used taxpayers' money excessively for personal taxi journeys and completely ignored Parliamentary guidelines for declaring outside earnings.
Meanwhile, Jeremy Hunt has an equally sordid history using taxpayers' money, having been forced to repay almost £10,000 in 2009 after allowing his agent to stay rent-free in a taxpayer-subsidised home, and in 2018 he infamously broke anti-money laundering laws after somehow 'forgetting' that he had purchased seven luxury flats.
Both candidates have also found themselves embroiled in racism scandals, with Johnson repeatedly rebuked for using numerous racist tropes during his highly controversial political career.
Johnson has infamously referred to black people as "piccaninnies" with "watermelon smiles"; published an article when he was editor of The Spectator magazine which claimed that black people have 'lower IQs'; described Muslim women wearing burkhas as looking like "bank robbers" and "letterboxes"; said former US President Barack Obama was anti-British because of his "part-Kenyan" heritage; labelled the Pacific island of Papua New Guinea as a country with "orgies of cannabalism and chief killing"; joked that Libya could become the "next Dubai" if they could just "clear the dead bodies away"; referred to the continent of Africa simply as "that country"; recited a nostalgic pro-colonial-era poem at a temple in the former British colony of Myanmar; said that Malaysian women only go to university to "find men to marry"; published a column in the Spectator magazine which called Scottish people a "verminous race" who should be "exterminated".
Johnson has also demeaned numerous other groups, having described gay people as "tank-topped bum boys"; criticised the supposedly "appalling influence" of "teaching homosexuality in schools" ; compared gay sex to beastiality; claimed that voting Tory will give your wife "bigger breasts"; demeaned a female publisher by telling his former Spectator editor to simply "pat her on the bottom and send her on her way"; offended all of Merseyside and the vast majority of right-thinking people across the UK after writing that Liverpudlians were "wallowing" in "victim status" and falsely claiming that "drunken fans" had contributed to the country's worst ever sporting disaster in Hillsbrough, Sheffield, where 96 Liverpool fans were unlawfully crushed to death owing to police negligence; offended victims of child sexual abuse by saying that money which had been spent investigating historic sexual crimes against children had been "spaffed up the wall" - a deeply controversial sexual phrase; and was even exposed colluding with an old school friend to have a journalist beaten up.
Meanwhile, Jeremy Hunt also found himself in two separate racism scandals just last week after appearing to endorse a tweet by the infamously racist far-right rent-a-gob, Katie Hopkins, which described the UK capital as "Londonistan", and uttering a deeply ironic Freudian slip by declaring that the Tories needed to be "whiter than white" on the issue of racism.
And it's not just their words which have angered people, it's the deeply unpopular policies they've pursued and the incredibly dangerous actions they've both taken as members of the Tory government.
As Health Secretary, Jeremy Hunt literally became the most hated politician in Britian - somehow beating the then PM David Cameron and the then Chancellor George Osborne who had literally spent the previous 5 years taking money away from disabled people and the terminally ill - and even won the infamous "Dick of The Year" award in 2015.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uJiDG-n5oPM&feature=youtu.be
Hunt managed to beat Cameron and Osborne into first place after repeatedly angering almost the entire country with his disgracefully brazen pro-privatisation, anti-staff agenda towards the UK's most cherised public service, the National Health Service.
Meanwhile, Boris Johnson's only stint in government came after the 2017 General Election when the then PM Theresa May decided to appoint him as Foreign Secretary - a role which saw him become an international laughing stock, and saw the UK's credibility across the world plummet.
Johnson encountered numerous horrendous gaffes as Foreign Secretary, including effectively consigning a British citizen, Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe - who had been accused of spying - to an Iranian jail cell after erroneously declaring that she was traning journalists in the region during an official televised Commons Committee.
What a choice.